(No love lost, True love found)

It was like I was falling,but not the falling your thinking of
....oh no I wasn't falling like someone pushed me out the window and I was headed for my doom, oh no wasn't that kind of fall, I was falling like when you first bungee jump and your adrenaline is pumping from the rush of the first plunge, I was falling like when you’re about to reach the climax of a song and your feeling it so much that you drop to your knees and let out the last high note with all your might, I was falling hard, I was falling in love and I was headed for you.

It wasn't something I was used too, not at all what I was used too, I had the players, the ballers, pump fakers, heart breakers, breath takers, you get the picture right?....

I had every type of man known to man, so I thought... then I ran into you, and you didn't approach me like most men do, you stepped to me with sincere clarity you stepped to respectfully, you stepped to me not expecting but hoping to retain the best of me, and when you spoke to me it was my eyes you spoke to, not my breast my thighs, or my tiny waist, and perked ass, all that you looked past and you stuck to what was the real thrill to gain, my heart my mind my spirit, everything internally.
For the first time in the long time a man actually stimulated me, go figure, who'd thunk it? Did I like it? Hell no, I loved it, every bit of it and I wanted more of it.... so right then the chase began, my heart for your heart my love for your love, my trust for your trust and then some.

A lot went through my mind the first month we started seeing one another, like I wonder if he loves me generally or theoretically. Or hypothetically? or does he even love me at all, gotta admit it was hard to tell, and you didn't make it easy for me to know.....I expected myself to be the first to say "I love you" since that's usually how the story of "me" goes, but looks like there's two authors in this chapter of my story, I know it sounds Corny but your something that's needed for me....not me on the outside but me on the “in”, the outside is easy for anyone to analyze and perceive as an easy score but when you can get into the mind of a strong tough skin woman like me that's a real accomplishment you see.


So I Guess I'm not as hard as I thought or hoped to be, gotta admit that night he shocked me I wasn't expecting to hear him say first he loved me, so what did I do?

I choked of course, not the choking your thinking...not the choking when someone has to come over and perform Heimlich maneuver, not the kind of choking like something went down the wrong tube, no, it wasn't like that, it was the choking of me trying to hold back my tears, tears because you loved me I was happy to hear yet so petrified to hear, how could I be so sure what your saying is true? How do I know the words are coming from you up here and not you down there, I mean yes it's been 3 months and you haven't even attempted to get none, but isn't this the time when could go for some? there I go comparing you again.... my apologies again...I guess I'm so used to losing I don't realize when I've actually one.....
Let’s skip to December 13Th our one year anniversary, the day you got down on one knee and requested to marry me?
I instantly became Gay, not the gay your thinking about, not the gay like I switched sides of the fence, not the gay like I dipped and dabbed a little, no not that gay, the gay of happiness, the happiness I felt when we met face to face head to head the happiness I felt when I finally took a chance and layed with you in bed and all you did was hold me through the night it felt better than sex because it felt just right.
Now all in all with that said, with this ring I thee Wed... <3

(No love lost, True love found) <3

Switch places***

I dont want you to open my door I wanna open yours I don't want you to make the first move,allow me too. I dont want you to pull out my chair sit down first I don't want you to spend, spend, spend I got money of my own to lend...I don't want you to lead the cat and mouse game...I want you to have my last name*
This may be new to you, strange or even sound scary? But it'll make sense if i'm the one you marry. <3

(Tiana for mini poem)

Alittle love**

"Its colder than the coldest winter day, It's darker than a room with no windows or light, It's bending like rubber,It's slowly breaking like a trees branches with no life,It's cracking like a sheet of ice, It's frowning like an upside down smile,All it ever wanted was love...even if for alittle while.
what is it you ask? My heart...(tiana for mini poem

Immature lover

"It's funny, when a girl dates a guy her age or alittle younger than her, she gets mad and rants about how immature and not ready he is then go for someone older* However in reality an older man is no different, by dealing with you he's clearly still trying to be young...(My moral?) no matter the age of the man immaturity still exist in every male some more than others but it's still there..* sad but true _Tiana for thought*

Fool in love

‎"In a mere 3 weeks he made more than her heart beat, In a mere month he showed her the side of love that was too tough; to handle that is...broke her so bad she balled up like a kid, shaking him off a feeling she couldnt get rid; now she's broken, alone still without him, but him from her mind and heart.... she can't forbid a ... what do you call this? a fool in love? No, Fool for love that is*
(Tiana for mini poem)

Far from over.......

‎"I'm going to live my life to the fullest the way I want to, I'm gonna dance like nobody's watching, cry like I'm winning an Oscar, stare at myself & say
"Such a beautiful monster"
Love like I'll never get hurt,
eat like food's going out of style then ask for desert,
step out fly, with my head held high like a soldier,
sit back & laugh about how I lived my life when I'm older & on my last day I'll say
"let's do it all over."*

(Tiana For thought)

"Caught up?.., Caught out?...,or both?"

MY HEAD TWISTED UP CAUSE I KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT ...YOU KNOW I GOTTA MAN, BUT THAT THOUGHT DISAPPEARS WHEN YOU HOLD MY BODY TIGHT...I'M FALLING FOR YOU HARD & FOR YOU I GOT IT BAD.
YOU CONTINUE WHISPERING IN MY EAR "YOUR SOMETHING FOR A LONG TIME I HAVEN'T HAD". I KNOW ITS A CRIME, I CANT HELP IT I STILL WANT YOU AT THE SAME TIME...YOU TELL ME SWEET THINGS THAT I'VE OFTEN HEARD BEFORE BUT WHEN THE WORDS COME FROM YOU THE MORE I ADORE..
... THIS IS SOMETHING I MAY JUST REGRET.
TELL YOU WHAT? WHY DON'T WE PUT THIS "FLING" TO THE TEST, IF YOU GET IN MY HEAD, I'LL GIVE YOU THE ABSOLUTE BEST...OF "ME" I'M FOR REAL, SINCERELY AS I SAY, GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT AND I'LL COME BACK EVERYDAY SO DO AS YOU SAY,SHOW ME WHAT IT IS. DON'T HOLD BACK DO AS YOU WISH IF YOU DO IT RIGHT, AT THE END OF THE NIGHT YOU MIGHT GET A KISS.
AIM TO PLEASE; I'LL RECEIVE, YOU GIVE, I WANNA BE FAITHFUL BUT YOU FROM ME I CANT FORBID.
HEAR MY SOUL? I'M SPEAKING THROUGH THE WIRE,FORGET THE CONSEQUENCES ;RIGHT NOW YOU'RE WHO I DESIRE. MY BODY'S ON FIRE CAN YOU PUT IT OUT?
FOR NOW I'LL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
LISTEN TO MY EYES IN SILENCE THEY "SPEAK" I WANT YOU. YOUR EYES SAY SAME AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT I'LL BE CALLING YOUR NAME.
I LOVE THE ONE AT HOME, BUT I CAN'T SHAKE YOU OFF I JUST CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE.
YOU GOT ALOT OF GAME, BUT LET ME WARN YOU I'M A HARD FEMALE TO TAME...
HOWEVER FOR NOW LETS SEE WHATS IN IT FOR EACH OTHER TO GAIN.
BEFORE THIS IS OVER WHICH ONE OF US WILL SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?
*******************************************
IS IT SAFE TO SAY, I'M OFFICIALLY CAUGHT UP <3 ?

Love of a stranger *

So there's this man that's so good to me and I can't understand why?

He shows me affection like noonelse, he keeps me smiling, he said crying was bad for my health, he tells me he loves me with no hesitation, he says I'm beauty's new creation, He text me every second asking how's my day, he calls me constantly having something nice to say. I'm the first person to hear goodmorning and the last person to hear goodnight* I'm comfortable around him & everything between us feels so right. I love the way he holds me but not too tight, just enough for me to feel secure,looks me in my eyes when he talks to me that way I see, of what he's saying he's sure. always honest,& true to every promise. Why is this strange for me to understand? Because he does all this and he isn't my man.

"SOS"

At one point I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything just like you, so for some time i tried to be like you** some I how got swept away.. I didn't know in your world it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. I made a promise to you when the time comes I'd take you away, but how can i do that if your already gone?

overtime I got so tired of being here, suppressed by all your childish fears
I was ready to tell you, if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,
why have Your presence still lingering near? why won't just won't leave me alone.
But those words wouldn't come out.

I tried everything but your wounds won't seem to heal, your pain is just too real
There's just too much that me and time alone cannot erase, so i guess depending on "mary jane" will.


Sometimes I wonder if this fight is worth while? seems like our precious moments are all lost in the smoke that you so effortlessly blow in the sky, along with the fresh air those memories are so hard to find....

There are many voices that wanna be heard, so many voices telling me what to do but not one voice, have I listened to a single word, at one point the only voice I cared to hear was yours. but even now yours is silent to my ears.

Day by day I watch you waste the minutes in the hours,& the hours in the days. This is now a daily routine no longer a phase. My eyes and mind you used to amaze. Now your lost along with the minutes, hours, and days that for so long you've wasted away & along went my glow for you, also faded away.

I'm hanging on a wire waiting for the day that I have to choose, run to my future or just run away from you?......
Put my future on hold and lend a helping hand to pull you through? I want you to tell me, what should I do?
You've turned into a liar, you've turned into my bearer of bad news, my desire has burned away like the flame I once had ignited for you.

*********************************
Shame on me for not stopping you, shame on me for not helping you, shame on me for not being here all the times you needed me too, now look at you, what has happened to us?

So many voices, that had so much to say, so many warnings that were given to me, and yet through the fire I kept my eyes and trust in you, and still came out burned in the end. I wanna know when, when will this shit end?

*************************

You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind, & the life you now have chose to live. whatever good that was left in you the last bit you have done away with.
memories of the old you and me, the "new" you haunts those once pleasant dreams.
The no depth in your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.

Why won't your wounds just heal? handover your pain for me to steal.

This deeper than money, deeper than the weed, deeper than the love you once had for me.

There goes those voices again, all of them are speaking at once so I can't hear them all but one stuck out in particular, it told me that your too far gone to be brought back to me. I didn't wanna hear it, it hurt too much to hear the truth, the voice also said that I've been alone all along and for a long time you've been gone so why hold on?

Because when you cry I'm here to wipe your tears, when you scream allow me to chase your fears, when you become sad I'd whisper "it'll be alright in your ears".
I see you need me here because your still holding on to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At one point I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything just like you, so for some time i tried to be like you** some I how got swept away.. I didn't know in your world it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. I made a promise to you when the time comes I'd take you away, but how can i do that if your already gone?

It was who you were, ambitious, sweet, funny, smart, and everything a girl like me thought would steal her heart I knew I'd love you from the start, until now.
When I first met you ,it wasn't your beautiful eyes, or bright smile, that made me stay for awhile. It was more than that so much more I looked at you but it wasn't you I saw at all, it's within that set in.

At one point I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything just like you, so for some time i tried to be like you** some I how got swept away.. I didn't know in your world it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. I made a promise to you when the time comes I'd take you away, but how can i do that if your already gone?
**************************************



I'm not saying I'm giving up, I'm saying, I'm giving in...I can help you or at least do my best, now put mary jane down, Let me be your SOS.



(Tiana Bridtter)

"Help me, love you"

People say were incompatible but it won't matter though.
I began to stare at you one day, I saw beauty in you, then i said to myself is it possible that Mrs. Lovable is staring me right in the eyes, but since your feelings for me aren't easy to see or even find, you must be in disguise..... Someone once told me there is a soul mate for everyone even a street bum can find, then I thought of you and began to think " Maybe I've found mine".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For a moment,There was a rush that came over me, when I thought of that possibility. The possibility of you feeling the way I feel about you about me.
I stare at you and can't breathe,
you look at me,& I become weak at the knees instantly.
*

Correct me if I'm wrong, are we friends? or is there more? we say were friends but there is more so much more or could it be a silly crush? My heart says it's so much more. Love at first sight if you will?* I'll be the first to say this is scary for a Man like me to feel.
I'm aware of the pros and cons of love and that's what scares me the most, Love can kill not permanently but it can make you feel dead to everything that once had life around you,.... so before I take another step I need to know What I'm feeling is real.
*****
Apart of me feels like this could be pure fantasy, these are feelings that you only see in movies, so this must be make believe.
This feeling isn't budging, it won't go away; so what do I do? confess my love or just stick around to stay?
I wonder if you think this could turn into a forever after or a happy ending until the next chapter?
My heart says forever it also says we should be together.
I'm not searching for another pretty face, I don't want anyone else to hold, nor do I want my love to go to waste, that's what will happen if for your love I lose the race.
I'm one to always run from the truth especially when it comes to this...Love.
Love told me that I had to wait until it was my turn and when my turn comes I better be ready* So tell me, is it my turn? Because I feel like I'm ready.....
this is a chance that I'm afraid to take but how do you know this can't be it, how do you know this is what we've been waiting for, why hold back when giving in can release so much more, love for me is what your heart has in store. "I'd rather possibly be rejected as a Man that tried, than as a coward that never tried at all*
With that said From the truth I'm not running anymore all I ever think about is you & all I want is you so tell me what do you feel, or do you feel at all? I tried it my way; I tried to walk away but like I said this feeling wouldn't let me or my heart get away*
Your eyes say it all I don't need your words, All I need is to put my hand to your chest, count the heart beats and make sure they match mine, I can't wait on a verbal answer, because were running out of time. what's the rush you ask? The rush is what I've been feeling for you for so long, *Now I can't wait anymore let me give to you what my heart has in store.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Love is more than Just a feeling, it's an ability;So allow me the ability to release my rush If your answer is no, I promise Not to lose my "cooth",
Just Let me see that your more than a Desire, But my Hearts' Truth.

"Too late"

how do you cope when the one you love is leaving you for someonelse and there's nothing you can do about it? she tried to reach out to you but constantly you ignored her, and payed her no attention now she's leaving you, so what do you do? how do you stop her if it's already to late? so again how do you cope when the one you love is leaving you for someonelse and there's nothing you can do about it?

Why all of a sudden are you leaving me?
she says nothing*
Why now when I wrap my arms around you away you push me indirectly so I won't quite know what your doing??
she says nothing*
Why won't you say the necessary response when I say I love you who do you think your fooling?
she says nothing*
are you cheating? if you don't mind me assuming*
she says nothing*
*********
It seems to me that your heart has left me, so who is he? I asked you a question!
what is this are you trying to teach me a lesson?
who is this man that your leaving me for and to him you are headed?
Look at me! answer me!*, so tell me? tell me why are you doing this to me why are you hurting me? what is it that I have not given you? My love, my heart, deep in my soul is where only you dwell, I don't want you to leave it's not time for farewell.
again she says nothing she just continues packing like there's noonelse in the room.
***********************************
When I question you, you look at me like the answer I am already supposed to know, the only thing I know is that this isn't the way love is supposed to go, whatever happened to talking it out? Were in a place where our love has lost it's flame and yet you continue not to say a damn thing* what is it? talk to me? what do you want? money? clothes? where do you wanna go? Paris? Hawaii? France? Peru? out there you loved the food. ***** Yet she still says nothing, she just continues staring, Now I'm stuck trying to read her eyes to see what she's thinking* she gives me no hint, no clue, now what do I do?
do I let her be, let her walk out on me? I question myself how did I let this come to be? it's funny because in a relationship you never know where you went wrong until your actually the one in the wrong and when the other is leaving, but its clear emotionally she already left and was for along time long gone. where did the love go? someone tell me because I really don't know* was it the late hours at work, the long conference calls on vacation, or not taking my time love making, and now she's at the door I'd ask her to stop but what is she really stopping for? when she turns around what do I say? We have no children together and it's obvious the love isn't enough to make her stay, so what do I say? or do I just let her walk away? ***************************************************
So again I ask How do I cope when
The one I love is leaving me for someonelse And there's nothing I can say or do about it.......
she tried to reach out to me but I constantly ignored her and payed no attention now she's leaving me, so what do I do? how do I stop her?
******
You can't, it's too late,.... she already left.

"DO SOMETHING"

"I told mommy what he was doing to me and she did nothing, so I took matters into my own hands.... wouldn't you?"


My eyes swelled, and my heart trembled with fear because I knew 3:00 was soon to be near, that was when mommy went away for awhile, that was when uncle Larry was left, to care for her "precious child".... "I love you and I love you", she'd always say. A kiss upon his lips then she was on her way. I watched from the window as she backed out the drive way.....like usual he was only a matter of feet away" with his hand up my dress, he whispers "time to play", I was his for the rest of the day.
Down the hall to my room he dragged me, yelling your mine and it was time to have me. he threw me on the bed and lifted up my legs, I bit down on my lip,& closed my eyes, "look at me" he yelled as he slid between my thighs, "please don't" I said, but i knew he couldn't hear, he was too busy "getting off" from the pleasure of my fear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I blamed myself like most girls like me do, i said it was my fault for wearing those silk pajamas you know blues clue?, with the feet cut out and the blue dog on my chest, I blamed me for putting his sperm to the the ultimate test....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mother is God in the eyes of a child.... "God protects people,
so why didn't mommy protect me?"
*************
Sundays were the only days I got to rest mommy was home all day, that was the best.
her and uncle Larry would be in bed all day, he'd be doing to her what he did to me everyday. I cried at night because i knew Sunday's were coming to an end, and in a few hours my hell week would start up again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop touching me uncle Larry stop touching me or else.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday came and so did my pain, but this particular day nothing was the same i woke up got dressed but felt no fear i told myself "I'm gonna make mommy listen, whether or not she wanted to hear. "I love you and I love you she began to say.... then I begged and pleaded don't go mommy please please stay.... "ugh don't start", she shouted out loud, "I have to go to work, "no mommy! not now", you don't understand he's hurting me",
mommy just stared,...mommy listen to me! .. what? what are you talking about? she questioned. she looked confused as if i were giving a lesson. "Uncle Larry touches me in ways that are bad he climbs on top of me & whispers I'm the best he's ever had", mommy's eyes swelled & filled with tears, the response she gave I didn't think I heard her clear, "Anette stop lying, now go upstairs"!, "but mommy please, but nothing I say, go to your room, we'll discuss this later today". out the door she went. Off to my room just as she said, not to my surprise uncle Larry was waiting for me in my bed...he said "Poor poor Annette mommy didn't listen, now come here and give uncle Larry what he's been missing"* he got up and I backed up, further and further, til my back was against the wall, he grabbed me by my throat & off my feet he lifted me, then he stuck his tongue out and began to kiss me. "Stop uncle Larry stop it no more"! he kissed me so hard my mouth became sore, I hit and screamed but no one was there -I thought to myself even if mommy were here she wouldn't care." Uncle Larry please stop, stop it or else... Finally he let go and dropped me to the floor I bit his leg and ran, he yelled "you little whore"... I darted for the door, down the hall I ran with him right behind me, he shouts, "Anette your gonna wish you never fuckin tried me".
I kept running, down the stairs and through the kitchen door
I looked for somewhere to hide but my feet led me to the kitchen drawer, I pulled out a knife and stared at it for a minute then he came up behind me, and "ran right into it".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I told mommy what he was doing to me and she did nothing, so I took matters into my own hands.... And I did something.

"Woman" (to) "Woman".

what do you do, when you find out who the woman is he's cheating with?
What if she doesn't know about you?? What do you do?
Instead of being mad and bitter, wanting to fight her;
take a different approach,
warn her about him...
... just like you wished someone would have warned you.
-read on, you might learn something.
**************************************
~~~~~
Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second, "woman to woman"?....
~
I know your the reason why every time the phone rang he answered with a low tone,
I know your the reason why he was barely ever home,
I know your the reason I went to bed every night alone,
I know your the reason he stayed out til four,
I know your the reason why the good-bye kisses stopped, he'd quickly leave out the door,
I know your the reason our marriage fell apart
& why I carried pain in my heart.
*******************
like you I was once his thoughts for many nights, once the #"1" woman
in his life, that's where I messed up, I was satisfied with being number one, when I
should've been the only one.
No need to get defensive or bent out of shape,I'm not the type to chase. our love story long ago reached its end.
however for you? its just beginning.
**********************************************

Let's go through the scenario of how you two met, I bet it was a day you'll never
forget, neither could I.
He saw you, smiled, winked, and told you you were the most beautiful thing he's seen in a long time. you smiled blushed, flipped your hair, and replied couldn't have been that long. he walked closer put his arm on your shoulder and said "you have no idea", by this time you probably noticed his pecan brown eyes piercing at yours, and while you two conversed and he began to tell his lies, you couldn't help but notice a gold ring with diamond encrusted initials that read C.I. on his "right" finger?
I bet you asked what the initials stood for?
yea I knew you did, and let me guess what he said? Crushed inside?
"because he can't seem to find a woman that will love him right."
as the conversation continued
his phone rung,at the third ring he finally looked down, then back at you, asked if he can have your number and if it was OK if he called around 2?
from that day on you two began dating only able to see each other at night,
let see,...he said it was because he didn't want anyone else staring at his beautiful sight?
He said he didn't want many people around because that could ruin such a perfect night.

On the 6 month anniversary he took you to chez Pierre? or was it chez pari?
same place he took you on date # 3. after dinner he claimed he had a surprise,
you two went for a walk, as you approached the end of the street you couldn't believe your eyes, there was a mural of you two, & above it read
"will you marry me".
I love you*

by me telling you this you know where I'm getting at, your playing the same role I had just a different cast.

I'm not bitter, nor am I mad,
because at one point he wasn't just mine either to have.
I know what your thinking..."What your saying maybe true but how could I take advice from you"?
Now I'm not hating
but like you I wish the one before me would have warned me too.

you don't have to hear me but I
know your listening, you don't have to listen but I know you believe me.
Enjoy it all now because it won't last,

there will be someone new
Taking him away from you. she'll be the reason your home alone all the time,
she'll be the reason he's not by your side in the middle of the night
she'll be the reason you feel that pain which makes your heart so sore,
she'll be the reason why he's coming home at four.

It won't last, just like me you'll go from being his future to just a woman from the past.
a new leading lady will play the role you once had only but a different cast.
**********************

“Anytime a man weasels out on you, turns out he’s doing you a favor.” - Tiana for thought.

The power of a tear drop.....

Ever cried so much, that eventually the tears came with no warning?.... like it's something you had no control over? as if your body is used to crying more than smiling, almost as if it's the "norm" for you to cry at any given moment?
I know that feeling all to well.
My heart was no longer producing love, only water that trailed up to my eyes and trickled down my face.
I kept telling myself that crying would make the pain go away, but it didn't it only made my sadness greater, so much greater that my emotions began to overtake me.
I searched my soul trying to see what could possibly have me so broken, sad, and forcefully stuck on sad tune. what can have my heart so filled up that for love there was no longer any room? what could cut me so deeply? I thought.

Again I began to cry, this time with purpose, as the tears hit the floor they spelled out your name, I cried one more time to make sure I got the right answer, again my pool of emotions spelled your name......
-****
I can't say I was surprised, because over time our relationship had no change once it hit rock bottom, rock bottom it stayed, and no matter how much I prayed, unsolved our "love battle" remained.

right before my very eyes we were running out of love and there wasn't enough left in either of us to maintain, so my only choice was to give up.
there was no "right" within us anymore and wrong was all to much enjoying our company. time to stop crying, my tears will no longer comfort me.

(Tiana for questions)
Ever been so numb to your lover where your hello's are rehearsed? your conversation are constantly 3 minutes short ?,... your text messages are now one word, instead of one paragraph? or when your on good terms you can "time" how long the moment will last? have you ever been so numb to your lover that your kisses have no feeling and your "love making" has no passion. or your arguments are so long and drawn out that you can't remember how or why it happened? Have you ever been so numb where you look at your lover and see just a person? like as if you looking at a stranger? Ever been so hurt by your lover that even the smallest thing they do can crush you in a big way? Ever get to the point where now your introducing him by his name only instead of both his name and his title to you? like "oh this is my boyfriend john"...now its oh this is John. Ever argued so much that you just fall at fault for peace sake. Ever held your lovers hand but slightly let up in the grip because you really didn't wanna be touched? Ever look back to try to figure out what happened? Ever question "what made me love you so much?" Ever tried to make it better so you put a smile on but it seems so fake? Ever say i love you, to them but it took so much out of you to say?
Do you find yourself sticking around because you don't wanna be alone? Do you find yourself sticking around because both your names are on the lease of the home?
Ever find yourself screening there call, because you can't bare to hear their voice anymore? Ever think to yourself maybe he's not the one...maybe I made a mistake? Ever stayed together just for the children's sake? Ever cried so much that it became to much to take?
****************

My days alone are so smooth without you my eyes are dry and I don't use as much tissue.
I cried one last time the other day,and when the last tear fell, I looked down... it spelled out....
Smile.

{{tears are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”}

What "lies" beneath?

People will accept a lie because it's comforting,and will reject the truth all because it's unpleasant. So the question is....
Can the truth really set you free? because when it's bad it makes me runaway and makes me wish I was someone else other than me, Does the truth really set you free, when all you had was that lie keeping you safe in the first place? Can the truth set you free, when all you want is for the truth to be the lie and the lie to be the truth? Can the truth set you free when the truth will cause a lot of people pain and misery? Can the truth really set you free? if you somehow can't believe what the truth is? what if the truth is something your afraid to reveal,(mental question) when is it okay for a lie to be the truth? when the truth is the nightmare of your future destiny? Can the truth set you free? what if the truth is all you had keeping you sane? and now that it's revealed nothing else is the same? Can the truth set you free when you were holding it in to save someone else? what if it's lying that can save you and it's your last resort for help?
Some people under estimate how dangerous the truth can be?
some fail to recognize revealing the truth isn't easy
so many people stick to what "lies" beneath.
You talk about honesty and your brought up being told "always tell the truth"! "or else"! what if the truth isn't what you want to hear then what do you do? what if the truth will be the cause of some one's life on the line? and it's to late to take back the lie you said and now your running out of time, do you "truthfully" reveal that you've lied"? or what if the truth is somehow the token to a freedom you don't want? Do you really want the truth then?

"My truth"- when the truth has a good outcome the world wants to hear it everyone wants good news right? that's the good truth... what about when the truth is bad? then what? you don't want to hear it., that brings in the term "denial". the truth doesn't contradict itself, us as humans do.... when the truth is whether or not your boyfriend of 3 years got you that engagement ring or not we want to hear that.
the bad truth is whether or not he is cheating? Oh now we don't to hear that truth, so we run... we run away from that "freedom" which mentally and emotionally
we can't endure having because were too afraid to face reality of knowing "the bad truth". As humans we tend to run away from "truth" that can benefit us in life.... for example; ever hear people say "ooh I'd rather go on not knowing whether i have aids or HIV or not? But then they want to know if someone else has it?... so when the truth's spotlight isn't on you... then you want to know

"the truth is your souls armor".
It's so sad that nowadays people will hear a lie, know it's a lie, but accept the lie, all because they don't want to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I want to know what "lies" beneath,...what about you?

Tiana for thought*

God has the power,to Show you who God is.

It is very easy to lose hope in God, but if we lose hope in him... then where do we go from there? (Tiana for thought)

{{Tiana for explanation}}...
Many nights you sit up and pray with no confirmation of if he hears you or not, but yet you still continue to pray.... what makes you do so? What gives you that drive? where does that inner strength come from? The soul, the soul is the chamber that holds emotions that the heart is not strong enough to carry alone, so those emotions over flow deeper within yourself. now at what point is it time to release? When you feel as if all the weight on your shoulders is too much for you to carry? what do you do? you fall to your knees and you pray? but you find yourself not wanting to anymore.... you lost "hope" now what do you do? stay in the rut of which you started? thats the only alternative you have at this point..... Because losing hope in God is like committing a spiritual suicide. you exile yourslf from the blessings he had in store for you.

What people fail to realize is that everyone experiences that breaking point, that never ending fall, hitting rock bottom. Ever thought to yourself, what is the point of going through it all? In order for you to know who God is you have to allow God to be God, and in order for most to see that, you have to at one point be face down,.... God gains strength when we are weak.... because thats when we begin to pray. But why must God be our last resort.... why run to him when we are only in need??? Ever thought about running to God just to say hi?? or ask him how he is doing?? you should try it.
in conclusion, never lose hope, never lose faith. Go to God on your own, You don't want God to bring you to him, because he'll do so by any means nessacary.
God has the power to show you who God is.....so let Go and Let God.

letting go isn't easy but sometimes that's the only choice you have.

The reflection of you two kissing in my rear view mirror really made me wish i was blind that day. i heard something, i wasn't sure if it was the voice in my heart or my head that began to say "cry girl" but I couldn't so i just closed my eyes tight hoping i was dreaming and when I opened them the "nightmare" would be vanished,But it didn't there you were and there was she, right in back of me i sank down in my seat slowly hoping you wouldn't notice me, part of me thought you did see me or you knew it was my car but then i realized by the way you held her so tight,so close, you could careless who was watching you. as i stared I just sat back thinking of your kiss and warm embrace, too see you doing it to someone that wasn't me made me wish you didn't set me free, i wished that you did come after me one last time, but your a man of your word you said the last time i had one of my "I'm leaving tantrums" you'd let me go, and you did just that. as I watch the two of you, you seem really happy, but yet the pain my eyes in took trickled down to my
heart and cracked all four chambers, I began to somber and the tears from my soul hit my cheek, the tears were so cold and wet, wiping them wasn't an option they kept falling and had no intention of stopping
so i just let them run until they ran dry. I wished that day i was blind so I didn't have to witness the kiss you planted on her forehead, that kiss used to be mine it used to be "ours", how could i have been so stupid not to see that true love was right in front of me? look at me now watching true love, love on someone else.
The last reflection the glass showed me you two walking away hand in hand and although i was crying something in me found a way to crack a smile, at that point i began to understand it was time to let go and realize that you weren't any longer my true love,...no longer my Man.

CHERISH IT WHILE YOU HAVE IT, A LOVE NOT WORTH LOSING IS A LOVE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. AND A LOVE LOST IS A LOVE WORTH GOING AFTER.

who are you?

I must say it wasnt like this before you used to love me and so much more, Why is it that when I want you to love me you reject me? When I want you to listen you disrespect me, when I need you near me you away you run?, I can't help but develop insecurities like is there wrong that i've done? when I ask you for your time and company you refuse to stay but when someone else does "see you later" your so quick to say.dismay to my heart is what you display. I've cried so much I ran out of words to say. I ask you to change but the same you remain I gotta face facts that you will not change. I love you you say time and time Again I wanna believe that what your saying is really what you mean, it's hard your mouth says one thing but your actions show another, then there's the secrets why the secrests are you living a life undercover? please show me who you are because this heartache i'm feeling has taken a toll and gone too far.

prayer changes things***

when some is down and out, and at their lowest of low in life, and your at a loss of words to say to them to make them feel better. The best you can do is pray for them and tell them to pray for themselves, there is no better advice than the word of God* (Tiana for thought)

(*) Eye Love You (*)

There once was a girl named Lacey who hated everyone, her family, her life, she had no friends and she just hated the world because she was born blind. however there was only one person she loved, cared, respected and listen too, her boyfriend Clayton. She only talked to him, spent time with him, her whole world was only him. They had been dating for almost 3 years and he decided that it was time to pop the question. one afternoon they go out for a stroll in the park, as they find a bench to sit on. he asked, "Lacey do you love me?" "yes i do very much" she replied, he said "are you sure?", "yes Clayton what's this all about?" "well if you love me, marry me", she replied "No". "why?" he asked, she said "I will not marry you until i am able to see you." he said OK and left the subject alone. The following day she was home isolating herself from everyone as usual, she receives a phone call from the doctors office saying that they'd found a donor for her. she phoned Clayton to tell him the good news but his phone had went straight to voicemail that was unusual she thought but she didn't want to wait any longer after all she's been waiting for this her whole life. She under went surgery immediately. About 3 days later Clayton came to visit, when she removed the cloth from her eyes, she looked upon his face for the first time, as she was staring he asked.... will you marry me now? Lacey ignored the question and began to stare into his eyes at that moment she realized Clayton was blind too, She shouted NO!, he began to cry, But this time didn't bother to ask why, because he knew. Clayton began walking towards the door but before exiting he spoke softly "Lacey you know I love you, and I'm always here for you, just do me a favor:, Lacey glanced over her shoulder and asked sternly... "What?", Clayton replied....Take care Of My Eyes For Me. then he turned and disappeared into the hall. ( love is from sight of the heart not the eyes )

kiss

closed my eyes and was hypnotized,

The kiss so sweet upon my lips,

It was only a kiss but this was what i missed, missed for so long,

I opened my eyes the moment was gone,

The thingz goin' through my mind were oh' so wrong,

My emotions taking a toll on my heart,

It was only a kiss but are lips could'nt part,

Part in time for me to ask myself.... Am i in love?

NO! it was just a kiss.

Then why is my mind, thinking these thoughts,

it was just a kiss,

but it is my fault,

i'm caught up open ya eyes think think think,

the moment was gone........................



BUT IT WAS JUST A KISS

a letter to Grandma (ily)

DEAR, GRANDMA THERE WAS SO MUCH THAT I WANTED TO SHARE AND TELL U SO MANY THINGS I WANTED TO SHOW U GRANDMA WHY DID U GO U PROMISED THAT U'D BE AT GRADUATION APPLAUDING ME ON, IT WASN'T TIME FOR YOU TO DEPART, GRANDMA IT WASN'T TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE ME HERE GRANDMA YOU WERE MY ROCK, MY AIR, MY SHOULDER TO CRY ON, MY LAP TO LAY ON, MY LIFE ,MY EVERYTHING GRANDMA WITH YOU GONE AIN'T NOTHING GON' BE THE SAME I NEEDED YOU HERE MORE THAN ANYTHING NOW WHAT AM I TO DO? GRANDMA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I JUST WANTED THE CHANCE TO SAY MY LAST GOOD-BYE HOLDING YOUR HAND WASN'T ENOUGH, GRANDMA I GOTTA KNOW WHY? WHY DID YOU WANT TO GO ALL THAT PRAYING WE DID.... PLEASE TELL ME IT WASN'T FOR NOTHING, NO I DIDN'T WANT U TO SUFFER BUT GOD U COULD'VE RAISED HER UP WITH ONE SNAP ONE BLOW OF AIR WITH ONE WORD AND ONE SOUND GOD PLEASE I KNOW YOUR WORD SAYS NOT TO QUESTION THE MYSTERIES OF YOU.... BUT GOD PLEASE CAN YOU MAKE ONE EXCEPTION AND ANSWER MY QUESTION? GRANDMA SPEAK TO ME I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME I FELT YOU WALKING WITH ME YESTERDAY AND I SHED ANOTHER TEAR I WENT TO CHECK YOUR BEDROOM TO SEE YOU EVEN THOUGH I KNEW YOU WEREN'T THERE, GRANDMA PLEASE ANSWER ME I DON'T WANT A REASON TO BE ANGRY WITH GOD OR YOU....BUT THEN AGAIN.... HOW CAN I BE? I KNOW WHY YOU LEFT ME ITS ONLY FOR AWHILE I'M GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN, NO I'M NOT IN DENIAL I'M IN FAITH I GOTTA HAVE IT FOR ALL UR SAKE... GRANDMA PLEASE COME BACK WHY'D YOU LEAVE I SWEAR I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA MAKE IT, GRANDMA YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND TIL THE END MY MOTHER ,MY AIR, MY LIGHT, AND ALL THINGS THAT WERE OF GOOD... YOU WERE TO ME I KNEW IN MY HEART YOU REALLY LOVED ME GRANDMA PLEASE ANSWER ME GOD PLEASE RESPOND TO ME I JUST WANNA KNOW WHY GOD? WHY DID YOU ALLOW HER TO DIE GRANDMA I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME ANSWER ME~! PLEASE COME BACK FOR THIS.. I WASN'T READY JESUS I'M CALLING YOU SEND HER BACK SO I CAN HAVE ONE LAST GOOD-BYE ONE LAST CHAT, GRANDMA I WILL BE HONEST AND ADMIT THIS GOOD-BYE WAS FOR THE BEST BUT YET TO SOON I WANTED YOU HERE BUT UP THERE IS WHERE GOD MADE ROOM DON'T WORRY GRAMS WE WILL SOON CONTINUE OUR PLANS UNTIL THEN I'LL WAIT AND WHEN THE TIME COMES I'M COMING FOR YOU AND THEN I'LL GET MY ANSWER ...I LOVE YOU GRANDMA AND I WILL SEE YOU SOON.

to my grandma 7/30/08

JESUS FATHER-GOD IS ALL I CAN SAY WHAT A WONDERFUL PERSON THAT WAS TAKEN AWAY I CAN'T GET UPSET OR SCREAM AND SHOUT LIKE MY EMOTIONS ARE DIRECTING ME TOO BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE LORD MAY HAVE HAD IN STORE FOR YOU..UP THERE HEAVEN I KNOW IS WHERE YOU'LL BE AND IF I TURN MY LIFE AROUND AND LIVE RIGHT HOPEFULLY YOU'LL SOON SEE ME, I GUESS IM UPSET BECAUSE FOR THIS I WASNT READY BUT WHO SAYS DEATH IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD PREPARE FOR, BUT I DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY, YOU SEE GRANDMA YOU WERE AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE
HERE ON EARTH ANYWAY, SO WHETHER YOU'RE HERE OR IN HEAVEN THERE ISN'T ANY DIFFERENCE IN THE GREAT THINGS YOU HAVE DONE OR CAN DO...GOD NEEDED YOU UP THERE...HE HAD A JOB THAT ONLY YOU WERE ABLE TO DO HE JUST NEEDED YOU BY HIS SIDE IN ORDER TO DO IT...JESUS FATHER GOD IS ALL I CAN SAY IM SAD HURT AND DEPRESSED THAT HE TOOK YOU AWAY BUT HE NEEDED YOU MORE THAN I DID...ITS GONNA BE HARD WITHOUT YOU NEXT TO ME ITS GONNA TAKE SOME GETTING USED TOO BUT LIKE YOU ALWAYS TAUGHT ME IMA HAVE TO DO WHAT I GOTTA DO MEANING WHAT EVER THE LORD TELLS ME TOO DON'T WORRY GRANDMA NOW THAT YOU'RE MY ANGEL IMA LIVE RIGHT FOR YOU AND U AINT GONE...AS LONG AS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH ME IN MY HEART I'LL ALWAYS HEAR YOU, JESUS FATHER-GOD IS ALL I CAN SAY I LOVE YOU GRANDMA AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY HE TOOK YOU AWAY<3
TIANA RAKIAH BRIDTTER*

self written***

If only there was a way to erase all my pain and sorrow, that i have committed to. How pure would i be? How real would i feel? How much happiness will I get? How much would i regret?..In this life i am held captive against better..but yet so free to worse..its constantly haunting me, I try to seek the "right" in the "right", but it seems like "wrong" is for right now enjoying my company**, To wish for so much more but yet recieve less,..Gives you the emotional right to seek the best..but yet your heart won't let you..It's like a mental block on ones' soul..That can only be set free in ones' determination to self worth to be made whole**. Who am I to say that settling for you is the best i can do? Who am I to say that this pain is my karma for the misery i put you through that never existed? or is it just my lack of knowledge and fear to move on thinking im headed to worse of the worse and less of the less so i settle..But Who am I to say there Isnt' more? What if im jst taking a long route because my heart is Sore. But soon o' yes soon i'll be through that door soon i'll make it there then u'd see to you how much i really mean,..but by that time i wouldn't look back, nor' would i even care* (self written

typical muchhh???

After a while history starts to repeat itself. Like deja vu' or "same script, different Cast"..... But this time it was supposed to be different in alot of ways... Sure there were good days... But after awhile the bad began to take over... Then for a second we got back on track and all over again we began to love eachother... How ever... We resolved problems.. With my thoughts unspoken.. Not that i wanted to speak them anyways.but it wouldve been nice to ask "how do you feel about that"? but like i said.., after awhile it all became so typical i seen a problem coming be4 it even happened. Which is exactly why i kept a big piece of me.. To me.so i can be sure that i control the emotions coming in and out of my heart..no regrets for any reason..we were in love but maybe it jst wasnt our season. (after awhile it all became so typical)-Tiana

Woman in the mirrior

I'm a person, not a punching bag nor a slander board, you must respect me just as you desire the same.. Were on a fucked up path and it doesnt seem to be getting any better. Is it because we look the same..? It really doesnt matter.. Im not about mending fences Anymore, I'm gonna continue to grow up & before you know it ,be gone from you... Hopefully before I do I'll get through to you about the things you do and if I don't at least I tried and thats my "Q" to never come back to you... I'm not about turning over new leaf... just about burning the branches of strife that has torn us apart for as long as I could remember. I prayed & prayed for things to change but nothing seems to have gotten better. I guess figured it was too late to get it together.
Well I'm 18 now, I'm not about breaking down barriers, Just about showing you the woman in the mirror.

Aids the killer of not only life but of Emotions

Am I going to die? That’s what comes to mind when I made the doctor read me the results over 1000 times, disbelief, tears, and, pain, those 3 elements pierced my heart the same, when the doctor said you’ve tested positive, you have full blown AIDS, at that moment help wasn’t the first thing I was trying to seek, my heart dropped my throat tightened and i instantly became physically weak, yet all he could do was shake his head, your mind starts to race and you hope the doctor has the wrong name? Your embarrassed , deep inside you think of who you can blame, from which one of my partners could this deadly disease have came? You go home at night unable to look yourself in the eye, breaking down slowly day after day you wonder why?, the tears won’t fall so you silently cry, repeating to yourself I have aids, I have aids, then you began to “count” down your final, and last days. On you go to a depression stage, your thoughts say I’m going to die anyway, so what’s the treatment for? To cover up these purple lesions,...or so called sores? Am I going to die? you question yourself who’s going to love me now ? Am I gonna die alone? Could I make it through life? If so how? it seems like everyone turns their back and you are for the first time on your own. people make mistakes and condoms break, but that one mistake has left you with a lifetime of heartache. scared to sleep at night because you don’t know if its your last, you begin to reminisce about your aidless life you once had in the past. but then there are those of you who didn’t think you could get it from this woman or this man. AIDS has no respectable person! Use a condom, don’t pass it on, or your emotions and life is yours to slowly be gone. <3

definition of tears**

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” (Tiana for thought)*

live it right you only get one****

“There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.” - (Tiana for thought)

choice

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" ♥ think about it (tiana for thought)

Tiana for thought # 8

I never understood why people say "think before you act". I get it now* your thoughts are a processing chamber which directs the action you take* (tiana for thought)

Tiana for thought #7

IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART PROTECTED YOU'LL NEVER BE REJECTED HOWEVER BY DOING SO YOU'LL BE ALONE IN THE END AND WITH LONELY-NESS COMES SADNESS; SO ARE YOU REALLY PROTECTED?

Miss independent always walked away , she'd always say "No time for love that comes my way" She looked in the mirror and thought today ,"What happened to miss no longer afraid? It took some time for me to see How beautiful love could truly be Now no more talk of why can't that be me?, I'm so glad I finally see*** {Tiana now about Tiana back then}

senses of love***

When I spoke from my mouth you didn't hear me ; when I spoke with my eyes you didn't see me ; when I spoke from my mind you didn't quite understand me ; but when I spoke from my heart you felt me because at that point we were speaking the same language

walking away

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back and walking away from knowing what love could've had in store for you.”

Tiana for thought #6

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do, will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never...never forget it.” (Tiana for thought)

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had? (Tiana for thought)

Tiana For lover to lovers((***)))

If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

the love choice*

The best thing about love is you can't plan it, you can't buy it, and you can't control it. {You just have to let it happen}

Tiana for thought #5

Isn't it crazy how you can have all the right moves, but your making them in all the wrong places???* but your blind to the fact that your going the wrong way down the path, but somehow every body else has clear vision of it. (Tiana for thought)

Tiana for descision****

Its easier to live wrong than to live right, that's why I'm asking God too get me right no matter how tough right may be. (Tiana for descision)

Tiana for choice****

FREEZE! STOP RIGHT THERE, Now TAKE MY HEART OUT OF YOUR HAND & CAREFULLY HAND IT BACK TO ME,{hands where I can see them!}..ok... now about face slowly... now walk away,...I don't want you in my life anymore. [I just needed to take back what was mine first] (TIANA FOR CHOICE)

how whole can i be

IF I COULD, I'D DIVE INTO YOUR EYES, SWIM DOWN INTO YOUR SOUL, & CHAIN MYSELF TO YOUR HEART, SO I CAN BE SURE WE ARE TRULY WHOLE **

Human rock Bottom

Your so "down" to the point that your low down! And your so "cool" to the point that your stone cold! Well consider my rising "above" you, and melting you along the way*- human rock bottom**

Tiana to self****

AND SHE SAID TO HER,..."TIANA YOUR MY ONLY HOPE, YOUR ALL I HAVE LEFT,.... SO DONT LET ME DOWN, SHE LOOKS BACK AT THE MIRROR AND REPLIED... "I WON'T, SO DON'T GIVE UP ON ME JUST YET"

love quote 1*

“For some people, love doesn’t exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people.” - Tiana for thought #4

Tiana to fear**

“Whatever you fear most has no power over you. It is the fear that has the power.”

Tiana for thought (numero tres') (it's not called giving up it's simply called throwing in the towel)

throwing in the towel doesnt mean your weak nor a quitter, it means your strong enough to come to your senses to see that what's done is done. - Tiana for thought (numero tres)

Tiana for thought (numero dos')

"An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function within a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes."- tiana for lovers****

Birds of a feather flock together....?? mhmmm "i think otherwise"**

Tiana for thought (numero uno) ????
why is it that people in the world are so judgemental nowadays?? So many people based their thought on others by their background, and whom they affiliate themselves with. I am not too fond of the phrase " birds of a feather, flock together" to me that isn't nessacarily true, I have an evidentiary theory to support this, people choose the people they want as thier friends for numerous reasons, one reason can be because in their eyes that person is truly genuine and has potential to actually be a good friend to them. Another reason a person may choose someone is because one person can be a safe haven to someonelses soul,.... if i'm down and out and in an emotional rut and at the bottom pit of my life then why not look to someone to lean onto the person may not be like me at all but they may have what i need to be helped,or what about when a person does a favor for another it's like you needed me then and i just happened to be there to get you out of a situastion and i'll need you next time kind of set-up, you don't mean to befriend them it just kind of falls into that place that way and you two can be two totally different people but somehow you just have a mental common ground that works out ina way that you 2 can have a friendship. I have 5 friends all of us are the same age and they all have kids and 4 of them dropped out, 1) i have no kids at all 2) i graduated with a 3.5 gpa 3) and I am in school trying to pursue what i am doing now??? so how am i flocking the same way as those birds?? (not calling my friends birds but you know what i mean) so birds of a feather do not flock together, keep in mind that all birds have feathers but we can all be a different species. ( Tiana For thought) [numero uno}

ABOUT ME***

Welcome to my blog "AS TOLD BY TIANA" that would be me, now if your coming up here to see gossip then leave now gossip is not what i do i report the truth, and the truth only not hearsay or what you think you heard someone say.

I'm not up here to become some famous super star better yet known as wendy williams, oh nooo not by far. I'm just an 18 yearold young woman just coming into her own.

By my post and writing you shall see the growth in me and throughout my thoughts you can follow it as well****.

hope you enjoy***