Thursday, May 27, 2010


"I told mommy what he was doing to me and she did nothing, so I took matters into my own hands.... wouldn't you?"

My eyes swelled, and my heart trembled with fear because I knew 3:00 was soon to be near, that was when mommy went away for awhile, that was when uncle Larry was left, to care for her "precious child".... "I love you and I love you", she'd always say. A kiss upon his lips then she was on her way. I watched from the window as she backed out the drive usual he was only a matter of feet away" with his hand up my dress, he whispers "time to play", I was his for the rest of the day.
Down the hall to my room he dragged me, yelling your mine and it was time to have me. he threw me on the bed and lifted up my legs, I bit down on my lip,& closed my eyes, "look at me" he yelled as he slid between my thighs, "please don't" I said, but i knew he couldn't hear, he was too busy "getting off" from the pleasure of my fear.
I blamed myself like most girls like me do, i said it was my fault for wearing those silk pajamas you know blues clue?, with the feet cut out and the blue dog on my chest, I blamed me for putting his sperm to the the ultimate test....
"Mother is God in the eyes of a child.... "God protects people,
so why didn't mommy protect me?"
Sundays were the only days I got to rest mommy was home all day, that was the best.
her and uncle Larry would be in bed all day, he'd be doing to her what he did to me everyday. I cried at night because i knew Sunday's were coming to an end, and in a few hours my hell week would start up again.
Stop touching me uncle Larry stop touching me or else.....
Monday came and so did my pain, but this particular day nothing was the same i woke up got dressed but felt no fear i told myself "I'm gonna make mommy listen, whether or not she wanted to hear. "I love you and I love you she began to say.... then I begged and pleaded don't go mommy please please stay.... "ugh don't start", she shouted out loud, "I have to go to work, "no mommy! not now", you don't understand he's hurting me",
mommy just stared,...mommy listen to me! .. what? what are you talking about? she questioned. she looked confused as if i were giving a lesson. "Uncle Larry touches me in ways that are bad he climbs on top of me & whispers I'm the best he's ever had", mommy's eyes swelled & filled with tears, the response she gave I didn't think I heard her clear, "Anette stop lying, now go upstairs"!, "but mommy please, but nothing I say, go to your room, we'll discuss this later today". out the door she went. Off to my room just as she said, not to my surprise uncle Larry was waiting for me in my bed...he said "Poor poor Annette mommy didn't listen, now come here and give uncle Larry what he's been missing"* he got up and I backed up, further and further, til my back was against the wall, he grabbed me by my throat & off my feet he lifted me, then he stuck his tongue out and began to kiss me. "Stop uncle Larry stop it no more"! he kissed me so hard my mouth became sore, I hit and screamed but no one was there -I thought to myself even if mommy were here she wouldn't care." Uncle Larry please stop, stop it or else... Finally he let go and dropped me to the floor I bit his leg and ran, he yelled "you little whore"... I darted for the door, down the hall I ran with him right behind me, he shouts, "Anette your gonna wish you never fuckin tried me".
I kept running, down the stairs and through the kitchen door
I looked for somewhere to hide but my feet led me to the kitchen drawer, I pulled out a knife and stared at it for a minute then he came up behind me, and "ran right into it".
I told mommy what he was doing to me and she did nothing, so I took matters into my own hands.... And I did something.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

"Woman" (to) "Woman".

what do you do, when you find out who the woman is he's cheating with?
What if she doesn't know about you?? What do you do?
Instead of being mad and bitter, wanting to fight her;
take a different approach,
warn her about him...
... just like you wished someone would have warned you.
-read on, you might learn something.
Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second, "woman to woman"?....
I know your the reason why every time the phone rang he answered with a low tone,
I know your the reason why he was barely ever home,
I know your the reason I went to bed every night alone,
I know your the reason he stayed out til four,
I know your the reason why the good-bye kisses stopped, he'd quickly leave out the door,
I know your the reason our marriage fell apart
& why I carried pain in my heart.
like you I was once his thoughts for many nights, once the #"1" woman
in his life, that's where I messed up, I was satisfied with being number one, when I
should've been the only one.
No need to get defensive or bent out of shape,I'm not the type to chase. our love story long ago reached its end.
however for you? its just beginning.

Let's go through the scenario of how you two met, I bet it was a day you'll never
forget, neither could I.
He saw you, smiled, winked, and told you you were the most beautiful thing he's seen in a long time. you smiled blushed, flipped your hair, and replied couldn't have been that long. he walked closer put his arm on your shoulder and said "you have no idea", by this time you probably noticed his pecan brown eyes piercing at yours, and while you two conversed and he began to tell his lies, you couldn't help but notice a gold ring with diamond encrusted initials that read C.I. on his "right" finger?
I bet you asked what the initials stood for?
yea I knew you did, and let me guess what he said? Crushed inside?
"because he can't seem to find a woman that will love him right."
as the conversation continued
his phone rung,at the third ring he finally looked down, then back at you, asked if he can have your number and if it was OK if he called around 2?
from that day on you two began dating only able to see each other at night,
let see,...he said it was because he didn't want anyone else staring at his beautiful sight?
He said he didn't want many people around because that could ruin such a perfect night.

On the 6 month anniversary he took you to chez Pierre? or was it chez pari?
same place he took you on date # 3. after dinner he claimed he had a surprise,
you two went for a walk, as you approached the end of the street you couldn't believe your eyes, there was a mural of you two, & above it read
"will you marry me".
I love you*

by me telling you this you know where I'm getting at, your playing the same role I had just a different cast.

I'm not bitter, nor am I mad,
because at one point he wasn't just mine either to have.
I know what your thinking..."What your saying maybe true but how could I take advice from you"?
Now I'm not hating
but like you I wish the one before me would have warned me too.

you don't have to hear me but I
know your listening, you don't have to listen but I know you believe me.
Enjoy it all now because it won't last,

there will be someone new
Taking him away from you. she'll be the reason your home alone all the time,
she'll be the reason he's not by your side in the middle of the night
she'll be the reason you feel that pain which makes your heart so sore,
she'll be the reason why he's coming home at four.

It won't last, just like me you'll go from being his future to just a woman from the past.
a new leading lady will play the role you once had only but a different cast.

“Anytime a man weasels out on you, turns out he’s doing you a favor.” - Tiana for thought.