Monday, July 12, 2010

"SOS"


At one point I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything just like you, so for some time i tried to be like you** some I how got swept away.. I didn't know in your world it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. I made a promise to you when the time comes I'd take you away, but how can i do that if your already gone?

overtime I got so tired of being here, suppressed by all your childish fears
I was ready to tell you, if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,
why have Your presence still lingering near? why won't just won't leave me alone.
But those words wouldn't come out.

I tried everything but your wounds won't seem to heal, your pain is just too real
There's just too much that me and time alone cannot erase, so i guess depending on "mary jane" will.


Sometimes I wonder if this fight is worth while? seems like our precious moments are all lost in the smoke that you so effortlessly blow in the sky, along with the fresh air those memories are so hard to find....

There are many voices that wanna be heard, so many voices telling me what to do but not one voice, have I listened to a single word, at one point the only voice I cared to hear was yours. but even now yours is silent to my ears.

Day by day I watch you waste the minutes in the hours,& the hours in the days. This is now a daily routine no longer a phase. My eyes and mind you used to amaze. Now your lost along with the minutes, hours, and days that for so long you've wasted away & along went my glow for you, also faded away.

I'm hanging on a wire waiting for the day that I have to choose, run to my future or just run away from you?......
Put my future on hold and lend a helping hand to pull you through? I want you to tell me, what should I do?
You've turned into a liar, you've turned into my bearer of bad news, my desire has burned away like the flame I once had ignited for you.

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Shame on me for not stopping you, shame on me for not helping you, shame on me for not being here all the times you needed me too, now look at you, what has happened to us?

So many voices, that had so much to say, so many warnings that were given to me, and yet through the fire I kept my eyes and trust in you, and still came out burned in the end. I wanna know when, when will this shit end?

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You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind, & the life you now have chose to live. whatever good that was left in you the last bit you have done away with.
memories of the old you and me, the "new" you haunts those once pleasant dreams.
The no depth in your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.

Why won't your wounds just heal? handover your pain for me to steal.

This deeper than money, deeper than the weed, deeper than the love you once had for me.

There goes those voices again, all of them are speaking at once so I can't hear them all but one stuck out in particular, it told me that your too far gone to be brought back to me. I didn't wanna hear it, it hurt too much to hear the truth, the voice also said that I've been alone all along and for a long time you've been gone so why hold on?

Because when you cry I'm here to wipe your tears, when you scream allow me to chase your fears, when you become sad I'd whisper "it'll be alright in your ears".
I see you need me here because your still holding on to me.
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At one point I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything just like you, so for some time i tried to be like you** some I how got swept away.. I didn't know in your world it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. I made a promise to you when the time comes I'd take you away, but how can i do that if your already gone?

It was who you were, ambitious, sweet, funny, smart, and everything a girl like me thought would steal her heart I knew I'd love you from the start, until now.
When I first met you ,it wasn't your beautiful eyes, or bright smile, that made me stay for awhile. It was more than that so much more I looked at you but it wasn't you I saw at all, it's within that set in.

At one point I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything just like you, so for some time i tried to be like you** some I how got swept away.. I didn't know in your world it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. I made a promise to you when the time comes I'd take you away, but how can i do that if your already gone?
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I'm not saying I'm giving up, I'm saying, I'm giving in...I can help you or at least do my best, now put mary jane down, Let me be your SOS.



(Tiana Bridtter)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

"Help me, love you"


People say were incompatible but it won't matter though.
I began to stare at you one day, I saw beauty in you, then i said to myself is it possible that Mrs. Lovable is staring me right in the eyes, but since your feelings for me aren't easy to see or even find, you must be in disguise..... Someone once told me there is a soul mate for everyone even a street bum can find, then I thought of you and began to think " Maybe I've found mine".
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For a moment,There was a rush that came over me, when I thought of that possibility. The possibility of you feeling the way I feel about you about me.
I stare at you and can't breathe,
you look at me,& I become weak at the knees instantly.
*

Correct me if I'm wrong, are we friends? or is there more? we say were friends but there is more so much more or could it be a silly crush? My heart says it's so much more. Love at first sight if you will?* I'll be the first to say this is scary for a Man like me to feel.
I'm aware of the pros and cons of love and that's what scares me the most, Love can kill not permanently but it can make you feel dead to everything that once had life around you,.... so before I take another step I need to know What I'm feeling is real.
*****
Apart of me feels like this could be pure fantasy, these are feelings that you only see in movies, so this must be make believe.
This feeling isn't budging, it won't go away; so what do I do? confess my love or just stick around to stay?
I wonder if you think this could turn into a forever after or a happy ending until the next chapter?
My heart says forever it also says we should be together.
I'm not searching for another pretty face, I don't want anyone else to hold, nor do I want my love to go to waste, that's what will happen if for your love I lose the race.
I'm one to always run from the truth especially when it comes to this...Love.
Love told me that I had to wait until it was my turn and when my turn comes I better be ready* So tell me, is it my turn? Because I feel like I'm ready.....
this is a chance that I'm afraid to take but how do you know this can't be it, how do you know this is what we've been waiting for, why hold back when giving in can release so much more, love for me is what your heart has in store. "I'd rather possibly be rejected as a Man that tried, than as a coward that never tried at all*
With that said From the truth I'm not running anymore all I ever think about is you & all I want is you so tell me what do you feel, or do you feel at all? I tried it my way; I tried to walk away but like I said this feeling wouldn't let me or my heart get away*
Your eyes say it all I don't need your words, All I need is to put my hand to your chest, count the heart beats and make sure they match mine, I can't wait on a verbal answer, because were running out of time. what's the rush you ask? The rush is what I've been feeling for you for so long, *Now I can't wait anymore let me give to you what my heart has in store.
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Love is more than Just a feeling, it's an ability;So allow me the ability to release my rush If your answer is no, I promise Not to lose my "cooth",
Just Let me see that your more than a Desire, But my Hearts' Truth.