Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Baby's Final Peace......

I saw my daughter in my dreams the other night......
She had my hair; my lips; my eyes...

I heard her voice through my cries and she spoke to me,
She said, Don't Cry now, Just tell me why?...
Why I wasn't good enough to be apart of what you call a life?"

"You seemed Pretty ready to me, But daddy seemed more ready to get rid of me."
She said, "Mommy you didn't stick up for me, you didn't fight for me, you didn't love me and neither did daddy.

"Okay maybe you did love me but you loved daddy a lot more; you loved him so much that you forced yourself not to want me anymore".
"What did I ever do? Besides develop inside of you?"
I didn't ask to "almost be here"
I was just a Mere product of you Two!

"You tried to save me that day didn't you? but it was too late I had already been sucked into the suction tank.
"Good thing all babies go to heaven, because where my fetus went you can't even imagine."

"You signed the papers saying the doctors couldn't experiment with me.
"But why would you care "all of a sudden" what would happen to me, you weren't keeping me...you were to busy "keeping" daddy happy!the only thing you "kept" was your promise to get rid of me! good job mommy!
"I'll visit you in your dreams til I get answers and some type of clarity...as to why you didn't want me?

I hope next time mommy, next time you get it right and make the choice for you not daddy or the next daddy to be....

I hope my baby brother or sister doesn't whind up in baby heaven like me.

It was supposed to be you and me mommy "Always and forever" and because of you and daddy's selfishness I won't meet you never ever.

I'm not telling you this to hurt you, I'm trying to help you I wanna let you know that I don't in anyway resent you.

I came to you in this dream to speak my "Peace".
Hopefully now mommy you can sleep at night tear free.

I forgive you mommy and I forgive Daddy too,
Remember just because we didn't formally meet doesn't mean I don't love you I just would've loved to love you face to face....
"You crying and fighting with daddy every night won't make it right nor any easier for you what's done is done those first 6 weeks were fun.

"So until then I'll be waiting in heaven for you
and up there we can once again become one."