Wednesday, May 4, 2011
“I never once said I wanted to be a writer I was just somehow blessed with the gift".
All my life I wanted to be a star. I wanted to sing, I daydreamed of being a dancer, a singer, even starring in a broad way musical. But out of all those things I never became any of them that I day dreamed.
What’s going on? What’s happening to me? Why does it seem like everyone has control of my life accept for me?
I didn't ask to be here and the way things are going, nor do I want to be. So what if I could think of something, better yet anything off the top of my head and just write it! Doesn't mean it’s what I am meant to be.
I'm a lost soul as far as I'm concerned and the gift of my purpose is what I feel I deserve, but is it something I've earned?
Yes; that's the question at hand what's a purpose given if not in God's plan?
So what is God's plan? For me that is, will I ever know? Or is it something I've already missed? I don't know but I wish I did, I feel like I'm lost, trapped in the world of a kid. Life's moving on day after day and yet I'm stuck in the same place.
Release is all i ask for and if you choose not to then say no more, stuck I'll remain with no doors, or windows to escape.
But just to keep my mind from wandering and my thoughts safe can you please tell me; when my purpose will take place? A hint, a clue, or a simple answer will do.
You tell me what's my next move, I'll never be as clever as you nor am I trying to, I just want help from you. Why give me the gift to dream if what I'm dreaming I'll never be? I dream at high levels and getting there will take a life time and time is all I have, so that's fine. But if the answer is never, never will I know when my purpose is due; or what my purpose leads to
I can live with that; that I'll understand... But I can't stop asking it is your answer I seek, and I won't stop asking until you answer me.
Until then I'll wait & stuck I'll shall remain but I know I have a purpose, because you didn't put me on this earth just to die in vain.